"Prue" by Alice Munro

Ada Lovelace couldn’t believe her eyes. She stood motionless in the hallway, staring at her essay. 

Her friend, Colleen, glanced over her shoulder. “What’s wrong?” 

“Look at this,” Ada whispered, tears streaming from her eyes. 

This essay is an essay that I will never be able to forget. I read hundreds of essays each year and this one definitely stands out. You failed so horribly in defending for your side that you were extremely successful in advocating for the opposition. With the essay prompt: Should we allow female students to wear pants? you chose to write an essay about why we shouldn't allow it. However, because of the many hypocritical and logical errors in your essay, one can only agree to allow the change in uniform after reading your essay.

But will the school administrators agree? I don't know. No essay will probably persuade them anyways. Maybe some pressure from Gangwon's department of education might help, or some parent's complaint. Personally, I don't see why girls wearing pants is not good looking-who made up that nonsense? It's merely a stereotype of gender that lies within the society. Like how Scottish men wear kilts, men wearing skirts should also not be so special to people.

This is my personal opinion about the prompt itself, and now I will go back to your essay feedback. As I said before, you made an epic fail to claim on the opposite side, which helped supporting the proposition side instead. However, I think this makes me raise a question; did you really try to support the opposition? I mean, it seems like you ruined the opposite side's idea on purpose. Also, by trying to rebut the agreeing argument about the prompt in a foolish way, you actually strengthen their idea. This is very interesting. I've never seen some essay style like this before! Of course, this may be my misinterpretation. Maybe this was just my attempt to find a streak of brilliance in your heartbreakingly written piece of nonsense. Either way, this way of understanding the essay will certainly improve the overall quality of the writing and, of course, your grades. I will give you an extra point for each epitome of logical error that you showed us, and take off a point for each grammatical error. Hmmm wait that leaves you with the point of 31 out of 100. Maybe I should be more kind (Like your math teacher Ms. Chun LOL) and have some "+1" s in there. Maybe I should. But I don't feel like it. So 31 it is. Good Luck. Haha! Do you really believe that your score is 31? I don't know where my head is these days. Reading through what I wrote before, it seems like my past self was very distracted making it hard for present me to wrap it up right now. Okay, to sum up, adding in a point for clever use of logical error and subtracting a point for grammatical errors gives you 31. You should really work on improving your grammar. However, since this essay was one of the most ingenious that I have read in a while, I think it's a shame to get such a low score. I decided to give you 20 extra points for your creativity and courage to try it out, making a final score of 51. You have great ideas but don't have the basic writing skills to back it up. I know that you will be going places if you improve your grammar and spelling just a bit. Good job.

Colleen covered her mouth. “Ada, that’s horrible. An E? He can’t be serious.” 

Ada groaned. “I didn’t even know E was a thing.” 

“So what are you going to do about it? I mean, you can’t just go home with an E, right?” 

“I’m going to convince him to give me a better score.” 

“Ada, what?” 

But Ada had already stormed off in the direction of Mr. Janssen’s office.

***

Ada knocked on the door. 

“Come in,” Mr. Janssen said without looking.

“Mr. Janssen,” Ada said, frantically waving her two stapled pieces of paper, “could you please take another look at my essay?”

“I don’t do that.” Mr. Janssen wore the most exasperatingly nonchalant expression. 

Ada put her essay on his desk and shoved it towards him. He looked up, mildly feigning interest.

“I can’t secure myself a failing grade,” she insisted. 

“Well—” Mr. Janssen laughed. He nudged Ada’s essay ever so slightly towards the edge with his laptop. “Maybe you did something to deserve it.” 

“But you got it all wrong. Please.” 

The bell rang in the distance. Neither of them had classes, Mr. Janssen reluctantly realized. He took a deep sigh, conscious of Ada impatiently tapping her foot in front of him, and snatched her essay from his desk. 

“Thank you.” Ada scooted over. “You wrote that you made an attempt to find a streak of brilliance in my essay, remember?”

“Okay, when did I do that?”

“Here.” Ada jabbed her finger at a particular sentence. Mr. Janssen lazily eyed it. 

“Maybe this was just my attempt to find a streak of brilliance in your heartbreakingly written piece of nonsense,” Ada read. 

“So what does that mean to you?” Mr. Janssen asked. 

“It means that you need to take that brilliance into account, Mr. Janssen.” 

“It rather means, Miss Lovelace, that I have made an attempt, and failed to do so.” 

“But look at this.” 

However, I think this makes me raise a question; did you really try to support the opposition? I mean, it seems like you ruined the opposite side's idea on purpose. Also, by trying to rebut the agreeing argument about the prompt in a foolish way, you actually strengthen their idea. This is very interesting. I've never seen some essay style like this before! Of course, this may be my misinterpretation.

“Consider this: what if you were actually right.”

Mr. Janssen stared at her, genuine confusion breaking through his usually unyielding face. 

Ada took this as a sign of hope. “I’m a member of the student council, and one of the biggest advocates for change on campus regarding making both uniforms available to all genders. I thought of a creative way to amplify the need for change through my essay, and that’s when I came up with the idea of satirical comedy.” 

““Personally, I don't see why girls wearing pants is not good looking — who made up that nonsense?”” you said. Exactly, Mr. Janssen. It’s nonsensical. That’s the point. Usually, when you read an argumentative essay, even when you disagree with the point that the writer is making, it’s not like the essay doesn’t make sense. But my essay is ridiculous in the sense that it makes no sense at all. I hoped to mock those — especially the school administrators — who would still refuse to grant us the right to wear pants while making points as absurd as the ones I mentioned in my essay.” 

Mr. Janssen raised his eyebrows. “You said satirical comedy. I didn’t laugh.” 

“Clearly, I’m not a very good writer, judging by the lengths you went to misinterpret my essay completely. But is that fact alone deserving of a score of 51?” 

“Why not?”

“It’s not like my essay had no value. In fact, you said, in your first paragraph: “This essay is an essay that I will never be able to forget. I read hundreds of essays each year and this one definitely stands out.”  If an essay was this memorable, it means that it had a point, it’s just that you couldn’t resonate with it.” 

“Fine. 51 does seem a bit cruel.” 

Mr. Janssen crossed out the 51 on the top of her essay, and wrote 71. 

“But—“ Ada protested. 

“My last point still stands. See this? “You have great ideas but don't have the basic writing skills to back it up.” A C isn’t the end of the world. I advise you to avoid any application of satirical comedy in your future essays, and then you’ll be just fine if you work hard to improve.” 

“I—“

Mr. Janssen handed her essay over, and impatiently gestured for her to leave. With a last fleeting look of desperation, Ada finally collected her things and left the classroom, slamming the door behind her. 

“Jesus." Mr. Janssen shook his head.