The Fish Killer
Pets do not, or rather, cannot, wait for you to grow up to take them as your responsibility.
My family and I went to a rather expensive restaurant on one of our birthdays. I would have forgotten that day a long time ago if it were not for the two plastic bags of fish that the waitress gave my brother and me as gifts.
A lot happened during the one month when we raised the fish. Long story short, I was an incredibly irresponsible owner, even for a nine-year-old. One unfortunate day, I decided to replace the water, and impulsively picked up a dusty plastic cup from the floor, shoving it in the bowl. The fish swam around in panic. Getting impatient, I successfully scooped up one of the cowering fish and straightened my back in triumph. Only, it leaped up from the cup, splashing tap water, and landed straight on the coffee table, where it lay twitching. I screamed. There was no way I was going to pick it up with my bare hands. I remember running into my room and closing the door behind me.
The fish died.
I tried to sneak out of the house unnoticed, but my mom caught me and brought me into the living room. “You’re not going to go to school until you pick this up yourself and flush it,” she said. I resisted plenty. I screamed and cried for more than half an hour. But I finally agreed, gingerly carrying the tiny corpse all the way to the bathroom, watching it disappear down the toilet bowl through my half-closed eyes.
Until then, the corpse was simply a nuisance that I had to avert my eyes from. Once it was out of my sight, it was not to be my problem anymore. My mom made me pick up the fish myself because she wanted me to physically deal with the consequences of my actions. As my fingers came in contact with the dry, bony corpse, it hit me: a fish died, a living being, and I killed it. I did nothing as it lay flopping on the coffee table. Extreme guilt washed over me and I was left shell shocked for days.
It’s easy to prioritize our issues, our complaints, our problems. But what we often do not realize that we are not alone in this world. What we do is going to lead to something eventually. And someday someone or something is going to get affected. And when that happens, we are going to have to take responsibility for it.
I believe in the weight of responsibility.
My family and I went to a rather expensive restaurant on one of our birthdays. I would have forgotten that day a long time ago if it were not for the two plastic bags of fish that the waitress gave my brother and me as gifts.
A lot happened during the one month when we raised the fish. Long story short, I was an incredibly irresponsible owner, even for a nine-year-old. One unfortunate day, I decided to replace the water, and impulsively picked up a dusty plastic cup from the floor, shoving it in the bowl. The fish swam around in panic. Getting impatient, I successfully scooped up one of the cowering fish and straightened my back in triumph. Only, it leaped up from the cup, splashing tap water, and landed straight on the coffee table, where it lay twitching. I screamed. There was no way I was going to pick it up with my bare hands. I remember running into my room and closing the door behind me.
The fish died.
I tried to sneak out of the house unnoticed, but my mom caught me and brought me into the living room. “You’re not going to go to school until you pick this up yourself and flush it,” she said. I resisted plenty. I screamed and cried for more than half an hour. But I finally agreed, gingerly carrying the tiny corpse all the way to the bathroom, watching it disappear down the toilet bowl through my half-closed eyes.
Until then, the corpse was simply a nuisance that I had to avert my eyes from. Once it was out of my sight, it was not to be my problem anymore. My mom made me pick up the fish myself because she wanted me to physically deal with the consequences of my actions. As my fingers came in contact with the dry, bony corpse, it hit me: a fish died, a living being, and I killed it. I did nothing as it lay flopping on the coffee table. Extreme guilt washed over me and I was left shell shocked for days.
It’s easy to prioritize our issues, our complaints, our problems. But what we often do not realize that we are not alone in this world. What we do is going to lead to something eventually. And someday someone or something is going to get affected. And when that happens, we are going to have to take responsibility for it.
I believe in the weight of responsibility.
Nice essay. A bit of a childhood allegory that most people can empathize with (we've all inadvertently murdered something). Good narrative flow. I anticipate great college essays from you, so stay loose and don't try too hard when the time comes.
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